Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
