Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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