im drinking this country out of the recession.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
