We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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