I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You pole danced in your parka.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
