K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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