If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
