Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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