his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You can't just leave with hair like that
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Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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