i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
