fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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