I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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