Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
