I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
