Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
