dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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