remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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