The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
