I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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