My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
