Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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