TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
