Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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