Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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