how can u be prego again
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
