i just had sex bonerless
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
