he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
