Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He did a backflip because drugs
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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