Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
