can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
