ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
