Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
