I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
