Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
