I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize