none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
