so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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