Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Your tits are I can't wait for
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
