So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
