hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
