i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
