Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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