Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
