garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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