I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Randomize
