There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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