Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize