similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't turn off my feet"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
