BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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