Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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