Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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