Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
