The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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