"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
