just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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