so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
