is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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