Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
