those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want nice things and good sex
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
