did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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