that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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