I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well I just put wine in my tea
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
