the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
