you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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