you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
where am i from again
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
