I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
