she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
