I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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