I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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