Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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